


A Heartbeat's Leading the Waltz

by ArtificialEevee



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mommy Kink, Songfic, baby/mommy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-30 16:52:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13955895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArtificialEevee/pseuds/ArtificialEevee
Summary: Jinkx shares something special with Sharon. No one else can know, or it might ruin them both.Originally posted on Artificial Queens





	1. A Heartbeat's Leading the Waltz

**Author's Note:**

> Please listen to Jinkx' song [Sugar Mama](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8GQ0iD7zOs) while you read this chapter. All lyrics are pulled from that song.

_It’s two am and you’re heading my way_  
_Like you said you’d never do again_  
  
Jerick woke groggily, their phone buzzing loudly on the nightstand. They checked the caller, it was Sharon. “What is it, Shar?” Their voice was groggy.   
  
The voice that came through the phone wasn’t the confident, fearless Sharon Needles they were expecting. It wasn’t really Aaron Coady, either.  _“Mommy? Can I come home?”_  Sharon sounded so small.   
  
Jerick pulled themself out of bed. “Of course, baby. Mommy just needs to get dressed. Can you come home in 20 minutes?”  
  
_“Yes, mommy. I miss you.”_  Sharon mumbled shyly.   
  
Jerick smiled and started getting out a wig and the makeup they needed to be mommy. “I miss you too, baby.”  
  
_Open the door, no more words to say_  
_Your eyes are saying it all_  
  
Jinkx opened the door to see Sharon, in full drag, eyes unable to meet hers.  _She’s still ashamed. But I can’t say no to her._  “Come on in, baby. What do you need from mommy?”  
  
Sharon fell into Jinkx’ arms. Jinkx rocked her gently back and forth, the motion soothing to the baby nuzzled against her.   
  
_To bring you down like you want me to_  
_Confess just what you want me to do_  
  
“Can I have a bubble bath, mommy?” Sharon’s voice was fragile, but Jinkx knew she still needed a little help to get all the way to being her baby.   
  
“Of course. Come on, angel.” Jinkx lead Sharon to the bathroom, hand in hand with her baby.   
  
_Laying you down in the water, bare_  
_And now you’re starting to fall_  
  
Jinkx helped Sharon out of her clothes, out of her corset, letting padding fall away to the tile floor. She removed the wig from Sharon’s head, giving her baby little kisses. She gently eased baby into the bath, bubbles everywhere.   
  
Pale blue eyes blinked at Jinkx. “Thank you, mommy.”  
  
_No need for tears_  
_No need to fight_  
_It can’t be bad_  
_If it feels right_  
  
Jinkx expected a small tantrum while Sharon slipped into being baby. She started crying as Jinkx wiped makeup off her face. She tried to shove her mommy away, before reaching out to hug her instead.   
  
“Shhh, it’s okay, baby.” Jinkx soothed, wiping her baby’s tears away. “You’re doing so good.” Sharon nodded and started sucking her thumb.  _There’s my baby._  
  
_Pulling me close, I fall into the sway_  
_Our bodies thrown in the dance, again_  
  
All of Sharon’s makeup was down the drain, leaving Aaron behind, wrapped in an oversized towel, and Jinkx’ arms.   
  
Aaron’s big blue eyes were full of adoration and trust. Jinkx smiled at him, swaying back and forth, her arms snug around her baby.   
  
_The secret shared between you and me_  
_A heartbeat’s leading the waltz_  
  
Aaron and Jinkx were snuggling on her bed, Aaron wearing a soft nightshirt Jinkx kept in her closet for these nights. These nights she loved more than anything, but that no one could know about.  _It would ruin Sharon’s reputation. I can’t do that to my baby._    
  
Aaron pulled Jinkx closer and the ginger queen felt her heart skip. She kissed her baby’s head, his fine hair soft on her face. “You wanna play, little one?”  
  
Aaron hummed in agreement, and Jinkx smiled.   
  
_The tempo shifts and you lose your breath_  
_While we are dying our little deaths_  
  
Jinkx panted, her eyes fluttering shut. She could feel that her wig was sweaty, but she couldn’t find the energy to take it off, as she felt herself drifting off.   
  
_A heavy shudder, a heated sigh_  
_We only started to fall_  
  
Aaron’s body shook against hers, and Jinkx heard him sigh contentedly before she fell into a dreamless sleep.   
  
_The walls torn down_  
_The battle lost_  
_We’ll feed the beast_  
_At any cost_  
  
Aaron had let go, and he had let his mommy take care of him. He let himself give in to her, and he hated himself for it. But he loved his mommy so much, and he needed her, even though it was risky.   
  
_Sun coming up, and you’re rushing away_  
_Like you said you’d never do again_  
  
Jinkx woke to the sound of a car starting in her driveway. She looked out the window to see Sharon’s car pull out of the drive and leave.   
  
She sighed and unpinned the wig from her head.  _I knew you would leave me like this. I just wish you hadn’t._  They set the wig aside, and watched Sharon’s car disappear into the distance.   
  
_Leave me behind, but I like it that way_  
_Please don’t expect me to call_  
  
Jerick tried to tell themself that it didn’t hurt them. That it was better that Sharon left without a word.   
  
They wanted nothing more than to text her, tweet her, something to bring her back. But they couldn’t.   
  
_Washing you off like I always do_  
_Just do with it, I’m confessing too_  
  
The enby stood in the shower, washing away the makeup from being mommy. They washed the sweat from their short black hair that had been trapped in a wig for hours. They let all of last night rinse away.   
  
Jerick dried off and opened their phone to twitter. They drafted several tweets and deleted them.  _I want to tell someone. I want to know how to get you to stay._  
  
The enby groaned and closed twitter.   
  
_I’m getting mine and you’re getting your way_  
_Until we started to fall_  
  
They ultimately called Alaska. She was the only one who would know, and she wouldn’t tell a soul. Alaska admitted that Sharon was submissive with her, too, but had started feeling like she shouldn’t be after Drag Race, and that there wasn’t a solution to Sharon running away.   
  
Jerick had tried to convince themself that they didn’t care, that it was just an elaborate booty call at the end of the day, but they knew that wasn’t true. They had feelings for Sharon.   
  
_I have no guilt_  
_No one to blame_  
_You’re old enough_  
_To leave your shame_  
  
Jerick opened twitter again.  
  
_Hey, @SHARON_NEEDLES, you’re too old to run and hide._  
  
_Replying to @JinkxMonsoon_  
_ <3_  
  
_Replying to @SHARON_NEEDLES_  
_I miss you._


	2. Tell Me What Remains

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please listen to Jinkx' song [This Town](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzMTbaJsGTQ) during this chapter. All lyrics are pulled from that song.

_Well, I used to have friends in this town, but they’re gone now_

Jerick texted Aaron, they couldn’t keep going like this, they couldn’t keep hiding their relationship from their friends. They had to stop. Unless Sharon could let her reputation take the hit.

_I used to know the words to this song, but they’re gone_

Aaron blocked their number. Jerick couldn’t stop the tears that followed that realization.

_How could we have strayed?_

Had the queens not both been off from doing shows for a couple of weeks, they likely would have been found out. Jerick didn’t leave their apartment for days. Aaron got so high he could taste colours.

_How could we have strayed?_

Even once they pulled themselves together, something had changed in both queens. Jinkx didn’t have the same energy when she was with her fans as she usually did. Sharon was wasted considerably more often. They ignored each other when they had to be together for gigs.

_Yeah, I used to have friends in this town, but they’re gone now_

Aaron was miserable. He hated being so close to his mommy, his beautiful mommy, and not being able to be her baby. Which meant Sharon was even more irritable than usual, no amount of makeup or padding could push down the emotional baggage Aaron had.

_Well, I started my life in this town, but it’s gone now_

Jinkx had so many near misses, almost putting a reassuring hand on her baby’s shoulder, nearly helping her with makeup. It broke her heart all over again, every time she remembered she couldn’t be with her baby again.

_The white picket fence and the lawn, yeah, they’re gone_

Jerick’s home felt lonely. They had been alone in their apartment most of the time anyway, but it felt different now. The couch where Aaron would cuddle up against them, the closet where they kept a change of clothes for Aaron to use if he decided to stay. He never had. He never would.

_Tell me what remains_

Aaron felt lost. He was so used to being able to turn to mommy for help, and now he was alone. Floating in a void. And what was worse, the only one who he could trust to fix it was his mommy, and he had pushed her away.

_Tell me what remains_

Weeks, months passed. Instead of getting over it, Jerick and Aaron got more miserable.

_Yeah, I used to have friends in this town, but they’re gone now_

Their friends tried to figure out what was wrong. DeLa and Robbie tried to get Jinkx to open up after shows they did together in Seattle, but the ginger queen refused to speak about it. Fans got worried, Jinkx and Sharon had always been close.

_Toss me through the waterfall_

Sharon shut down, emotionally. Phi Phi had tried asking her, once, what had her so upset, and she had nearly punched O’Hara in the face. Everyone gave her space after that.

_Push me in the lake_

Alaska knew what was happening, of course. Jinkx told her everything. But she didn’t know how to fix this.

_They can give you the world_

The rift between the two queens grew. Everything they once had together seemed to be pushing them further apart.

_Yeah, but they take, they take, they take_

Jinkx couldn’t quite bring herself to list Sharon when she performed her song, “Friends” anymore. Her baby had taken that away. Her heart.

_I made my way through this town, til they tore down_

Sharon found one of Jinkx’ hair combs in her drag bag. It was ornately decorated and looked amazing fitted into the ginger wigs Jinkx favoured. Sharon passed it off to her assistant to get back to Jinkx.

_I had the sun at the dawn, but they’re gone_

Sharon refused to do shows in Seattle. She couldn’t do it, her home there was gone. She had happiness there, and she let it slip away. She considered unblocking Jerick’s phone number and texting them, but couldn’t do it.

_What could we have saved?_

Jerick would sometimes put on a light beat and their wig, and get out Aaron’s nightshirt. They’d curl up in their bed and remember.

_What could we have saved?_

Aaron couldn’t sleep without sucking his thumb now. He needed the comfort, and his mommy wasn’t there to help him.

_Yeah, I used to have friends in this town, but they’re gone now_

Jerick opened Twitter and typed out a message. They had to fight with themself to send the tweet.

_Toss me through the waterfall_

They bit their lip.  _This has to happen. I have to say something._

_Push me in the lake_

Of all the things they had tweeted in the past, this was somehow the hardest.

_They can give you the world_

But they knew what the fear was. If this didn’t work, they might lose what they had forever. Jerick closed their eyes and hit send.

_Yeah, but they take, they take, they take_

_@SHARON_NEEDLES i miss you_

_When you fight so hard just to give them back_

Their caution vanished once they sent it. They responded to their tweet immediately.

_All the lives you let them once attack_

_Replying to @JinkxMonsoon, @SHARON_NEEDLES  
can we go back to how it was?_

_But we never saw the change_

A final thought came to them.

_We made the path we made_

_Replying to @JinkxMonsoon, @SHARON_NEEDLES  
i was wrong_

_The only game we played_

Jerick was ready to shut their phone off, when a notification popped up, new reply from @SHARON_NEEDLES.

_So how could we have strayed?_

_Replying to @JinkxMonsoon  
No, mommy. You were right._

_Toss me through the waterfall_

The internet lost it.

_Push me in the lake_

The fans freaked.

_They can sell you the world_

The other queens were shocked to various degrees.

_Yeah, but you pay, you pay, you pay_

Sharon’s fans were furious at Jinkx for “ruining” their dominant queen. Jinkx’ fans were impressed as hell that Sharon had called her mommy. The fans in general were split on how they felt.

_I used to have friends in this town, but they’re gone now_

Jinkx and Sharon didn’t care. Sharon was still a dominant queen, and she was willing to fight anyone who said Jinkx had ruined her. Jinkx was still far more demure than Sharon, and ever the gentle queen.

_I used to know words to this song, but they’re gone_

And the fans settled down. And Jinkx had her baby in her arms again, and what else mattered?

_Tell me what remains_

Aaron and Jerick spent more time together, which meant Sharon and Jinkx spent a lot of time together. The two queens started planning a tour together.

“If we travel together, I won’t have to miss you, baby.”

“That would be so nice, mommy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I guess? Um, let me know if you like it, okay?


End file.
